Introduction
I have thought long and hard about what I want my last post for the year to be. I have always known it would be a reflection post, but I was unsure if I wanted to be vulnerable about myself in addition to writing things that can help others reflect on their year. 2023 for me has been a hell of a ride. 2022 started with one great thing and everything went downhill afterward with a few rays of hope and sunlight because God was and is faithful. I was hopeful that 2023 would be a better year and to be honest, it has been a huge milestone year in my life personally but it has also been a very depressing year for me. The saddest part is I honestly feel responsible for how badly this year turned out for me emotionally. The most beautiful thing about this, though, is that I have felt God’s love for me on a deeper level than ever before. I indeed messed up. I indeed deserve all the negative emotions that built up as a result of everything that happened. Despite it all, God never left me comfortless. I felt that I had no one else to run to and I did not want to run to God but I found myself hopelessly and shamelessly desperate for God to be my place of solace and He did come through for me. I don’t deserve God, but He made sure I never felt alone not one bit. For someone reading this, you might find this relatable, shocking, or exaggerated. For those who are shocked or think this is an exaggeration, I am sorry to disappoint you; you can stop reading from here and find other beneficial things to do with your time. Everything else you read about will be of no use to you. For those who find this relatable, stick with me till the end of this post as we reflect on the rollercoaster year of 2023 and prepare for a more productive 2024, God willing.
The Journey to Redemption
Family and friends have often pointed out that I take myself too seriously, and gradually, I’ve come to accept that perspective. I firmly believe that I’m my harshest critic, surpassing any external criticism that may come my way. Whether this self-evaluation is detrimental or beneficial is a topic for another discussion. What I’ve noticed in adopting this mindset is that no one can inflict more emotional harm on me than I can on myself. Consequently, I find it effortless to shoulder the responsibility for my emotions and determine how I respond to various situations. However, there’s a downside to being excessively hard on oneself. This, I believe, intensified the emotional challenges of dealing with 2023. As mentioned earlier, despite the hardships, the year brought forth numerous blessings for which I am profoundly thankful to God. I perceive 2023 as a year of planting seeds, where I played a part, others nurtured, and God orchestrated the increase (1 Corinthians 3:6). My heart overflows with gratitude to God for the abundance of blessings showered upon my life throughout this year. I want to take this moment to express my deep appreciation to God for everything.
To you, my beloved reader, I urge you to take a moment for introspection. Can you pinpoint the remarkable things that God has done in and through your life in 2023, things for which you will be eternally grateful? Take the time to name these blessings and offer thanks to God. From the beginning of the year to its end, if you are honest with yourself, you will identify several instances of God’s intervention. If you find it challenging to name even one, it might be because your focus is fixated on everything that went wrong this year. I resist the urge to list the general blessings that every person should be thankful for because I wholeheartedly believe that, beyond the everyday mundane things, additional blessings are waiting to be acknowledged. Take the time to delve deeper, allowing the Holy Spirit to bring to your remembrance all the remarkable things that God has done for you this year.
Admitting mistakes is never easy, and as I reflect, I can’t deny my role in the emotional turbulence of this year. The weight of deserving negativity has been immense, yet in the depths of despair, I discovered a profound connection with God. His love, though undeserved, became my sanctuary and source of strength. Understanding my part in the challenges has been a crucial step toward redemption. Gratitude fills my heart for God’s unwavering presence during the darkest moments. For you, my beloved reader, I hope you recognize that making mistakes is human and it’s okay to feel the weight and consequences of your mistakes. Go through the pain, feel the emotions, and get back up on your feet. The devil wants you to stay crushed and defeated, but that is not why God allowed you to make those mistakes. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”
The first part of this verse acknowledges the fact that nothing is new under the heavens. People become paralyzed when they believe that they have done or are experiencing the most abominable things. The truth of the matter is that nothing you have ever or will ever experience is new to mankind. It has happened before so stop freaking out and feeling hopeless. Let me better that, which is the second part of the verse, God is faithful to make sure you never experience challenges beyond your ability to withstand. I for one spent a huge chunk of 2023 asking God this question, “why did you allow this to happen to me of all people?” But as the verse says, God has promised to always provide a way out, offering strength and resilience to endure trials. It wasn’t until the later part of this year when I started reading the book of Job leading up to Psalms that I finally started to understand 1 Corinthians 10:13. God trusted me enough to allow everything that happened to me. This is huge for me because like Job, I felt I did not deserve everything I went through and I honestly felt I deserved better but God pointed out my arrogance and reminded me that He is sovereign over everything. This year was tough and in its hardship, God humbled me in ways I never thought possible. That is my testimony. Unlike Job whose test ended as soon as God revealed the purpose of his test, I am still being tested but I am strengthened by the knowledge and presence of God. I will still have days where I feel guilty, sad, heartbroken, and rejected. More than any of those negative emotions, I am rest assured that I will have more days where I feel energized, happy, fulfilled, and rejoicing in purpose. And as for you, my beloved reader, I hope you find rest in God and see your past and current situation through the lens of God’s purpose for your life.
I will leave you with these verses from Romans chapter 8: “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit (verse 1). For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace (verses 5 and 6). For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father (verses 14 and 15). And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose (verse 28). For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord (verses 38 and 39). Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us (verse 37).”
Closing Prayer
Prayer for every reader: Dear Heavenly Father, as we stand at the threshold of a new year, we thank you for guiding us through the highs and lows of 2023. In moments of joy, we acknowledge your grace, and in times of struggle, we find solace in your presence. Help us trust in your divine plan, knowing that you work all things for our good. As we reflect on the past, grant us wisdom to understand the lessons learned and the strength to embrace the growth that comes from both triumphs and challenges. May the coming year be a testament to your faithfulness and our unwavering trust in you. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.
Salvation Prayer (say this prayer of confession if you desire to dedicate your life to God and trust Him to be Lord over your life): Lord Jesus, I admit that I am a sinner in need of a savior. I am sorry for living my life following the will of my flesh and my sinful nature. I renounce my covenant and longing for a glorified sinful lifestyle. I proclaim that all my heart desires are the things of God. My Lord and my God, I want to do your will. Forgive me for every time I have tried to initiate or impose my will as your will for my life. Come into my life afresh and make me whole again. I believe you, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, died on the cross, bore my sins, and rose again that I might become the righteousness of God. I accept this invitation to become a child of God. Holy Spirit, come into my life and guide me in all truth. Teach me the ways of the Father as I study scripture. My good God and Heavenly Father, show me where you are already at work in my life and give me a willing and obedient heart to join you in fulfilling your will at your timing, walking in your way at your command, and abiding in a continual fellowship with you. So help me, God. Amen
“May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you.”
2 Corinthians 13:14 (NIV)
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Till next time, Shalom!
